Over the past few months, I've confessed to M, my friends and my parents that there was a 98% chance that I wouldn't pass. I didn't study enough. In fact, I hardly studied at all.
I was feeling really burned out even before graduation. I wanted time off, but felt like I couldn't have it - I had to take the bar in July, along with everyone else. I was already sabotaging myself the first week. I skipped the first day of bar review so I could recuperate from graduation weekend, and the next day I came down with the flu. After that, I decided to do the bar review course online only. I watched the lectures on and off. And then I stopped watching them altogether. I didn't take any practice tests. I was basically screwing myself. But honestly? I knew that and didn't care.
It was a waste of $3000 - the cost of the bar review course plus bar fees. And for that, I feel terrible. It's also embarrassing to be the only one among my group of law school friends who didn't pass. At least, I guess, I won't be losing a job over it. I did have a fun summer. And I'm now fully over the burn-out and ready 100% to tackle the February bar.
I'm lucky to have a very supportive group of family and friends. I'm not proud of myself. But I've heard nothing but encouragement. In February, I don't intend to let anybody down.
3 hours ago
11 comments:
Someone I love lots (a gentleman I might be married to) didn't pass on his first try. One of the best lawyers I know. You'll rock it in Feb. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just get ready for the next one.
{{{hugs}}} Don't be too hard on yourself! I can totally understand being burned out. You had a practice run at it, know what to expect now, and will do great in February!
I'm sure you'll rock it in February! And good for you for recognizing and admitting the things you goofed up on the first time around. There's nothing you can do to fix the money lost... Just focus on not making those mistakes this time. Good luck! :)
GOOD LUCK in February, you can do it! My roommate didn't pass either but he admits to only having studied for THREE DAYS prior! A practice run on it is great, and like you said, you have a TON of encouragement. Plus, isn't the CA bar known to be the toughest one?? And you didn't lose a job. You can only go UP! :)
I'm sorry to hear that but you know you can try harder next time. Two of my best friends didn't pass the first time but now are happily practicing law. Good luck in February!
BTW see if your bar class will let you retake for a reduced rate. I know Barbri does this in NY.
Sometimes the timing just isn't right.
You can do it next time! Seems like plenty of talented lawyers don't, so nothing to beat yourself up over!
I'm sorry to hear that, but you will definitely do better next time! Keep your head up!
sorry to hear and good luck in February. willing to bet that your new-found motivation makes all the difference in the world! and so glad to hear your family and friends are being supportive.
Thanks everyone!!!
@SN: I'm getting to re-take my bar review course for free!! :)
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