I appreciate all the comments on my last post... even though I'm generally discounting them and deciding for myself (as per usual). ;)
I'm in a much different place than I was in January. I have a job (2 jobs, in fact), I'm emotionally recovered, M and I are at peace and back to being "best friends" (yeah, it happens). The relationship with the new guy (we'll call him H) is a bit odd; it was never meant to be anything serious, but it's evolved in a natural way (albeit backwards - sex --> love --> feeling totally comfortable with one another). Our open relationship is veering towards monogamy (but hey, the unconventional aspect of all of this is not a necessarily a bad thing. And I may continue dating -- he's fine with that, I might add).
There was one comment that made me pause, because it made absolutely no sense. Did I mention I was currently paying $1500 to live in 1 bedroom of a house with my mother (and others)? Someone said if I can afford $1200, I should be putting it towards debt. And what, living in a box? The situation I'm entering now is going to save me $550/mo. And that can potentially go towards debt.
Someone else wondered if there wasn't some other valid reason that my mom disliked H. Nope. My dad likes him. Friends like him. He's just the "intruder" who stole away the happy family time. And she probably doesn't like how quickly I slept with him. Yep, everything's been quick with him. It's been intense. People can argue that my break-up with M has something to do with it, but I think I just got REALLY lucky in terms of how great a match we are.
I'm probably going to bring in someone to live in our 2nd bedroom, bringing the rent down considerably. That may or may not be temporary. If the situation in general doesn't work out, so be it. At the least, it'll be an experience. :p
Apparently. Because I'm on the verge of moving in with the guy I'm dating. The guy I've been dating for just about 2 months.
I mentioned major issues with my mom in my last post. Some of the major issues have to do with my guy. She was NOT happy that I was spending all my time with him, having him come over every night. She felt like I was "choosing him over [her]" and she was shocked that I had "moved on so soon." And unfortunately the walls are very thin. So movie watching past 10 is a a problem, and other activities are an even bigger one. He was basically banned from any area of the house other than my room. She radiated hostility at him. And things exploded one night a few weeks ago. Ever since, I've basically been living in his studio. He has a tiny bed and bathroom; I've been sleeping really badly and feeling claustrophobic. So we talked about it, and decided it would be economical to move into a new place together.
He's almost 30 and never lived with anyone, despite being in several long relationships. He had a bit of a panic attack over it. I had one for different reasons. The apartment we're on the verge of renting is $1800 and a 2 bedroom/2 bath (it's really adorable, homey and bright). $900 each isn't bad and much better than what I'm paying to live with my mom. But (and it's a big but), he's looking for jobs all over the country. He's willing to go where the wind takes him. I'm firmly rooted in LA. So, if he up and left, I would have to find a roommate... but maybe that's not so bad. I've decided I enjoy living with people.
The alternative is to find a 1 bedroom that I can easily afford on my own. I have seen a few decent ones for $1200.
So... what do you think? Is this a foolish decision I'm on the verge of making? And am I a terrible person for walking away from the house that my mom and I rented together? (Note that I'm not on the lease, at her request...)
I've been at the new job almost a month now. I've also been seeing a new guy for about a month and a half. The job is going well; my coworkers are nice, the work is interesting, and I have some hours flexibility (I can come in between 8-8:30 and leave between 4:30-5:30, depending on how long of a lunch I take). I don't see myself being here for years and years, but I think it's a perfect fit for the immediate future.
The new guy situation is... different. I briefly mentioned this on twitter, but I've found myself in a bona fide open relationship. We have exchanged the "l" word, he stays at my place almost every night, but we're both still dating other people. (In the interest of disclosure, he's continued to actively see other people, while I've been putting in a lackluster effort). I'm playing it by ear for now (and shocking my friends and family!), but I'm not sure how I'm going to ultimately decide to handle it.
I may be moving again in the next month or so. My mom and I are having some major issues. Plus, I'm paying $1500 for a tiny room and limited access to the kitchen (as she feels "uncomfortable" when I have people over. But she forgets that this is OUR house. More MINE considering the amount of money I've poured into it). Ah, the joys of living with parents!
Hope you've all been well!