Back to Square One

I've been promising to update my debt totals for awhile now, and I decided today was the day. So... here we go.

Visa: $4502
Mastercard: $4462
2nd MC: $5789
Store #1: $1463
Store #2: $600
Total = $16,816.00

It made me feel sick to my stomach to know that in March I had zero credit card debt (thanks to a loan from M that I'm slowly paying back) and today I'm nearly back up to where I started. A fair amount is school related, but more than a fair amount came from clothes, shoes, eating out, the Europe trip... and who knows what else.

I feel like I acquire debt cyclically. Every summer I pack it on, every fall I vow to pay it off. (And so far I haven't even been the one paying it off - it's only gone away thanks to M's bailouts!) It needs to stop. I know my "debt chronicles" are going to continue for many many years because of my student loans, but I don't want them to continue because of credit card debt. I also don't want to disappoint M (let alone myself) - he was so proud of me for using this blog to (seemingly) turn my spending habits around. And it's also so incredibly unfair to him when I've been racking up all this debt and letting him pay for all our food and utilities!

I can't begin really tackling the debt again until I graduate law school and get a full-time job. For now, I need to just focus on not adding to it.

I at least have a lot of things to sell on ebay. I've been planning to sell them for months, I've just been busy (and when not busy, lazy!). So, that'll be step #1. We'll see how things go from there.

I know one of the reasons I've been putting off updating the totals was because I... well, I felt ashamed! I've never been the model of frugality, but at least I felt like I was moving in a positive direction and was pleased that you guys were coming along with me. Now I'm back at square one. :( All I can say is, I hope I've finally learned from my mistakes and can start to REALLY move forward. And I hope you guys will be still be around for my second go!

3 comments:

Serendipity said...

You know what? It happens. I mean, I can't sit here and say anything really. I seem to pile on new debts as well ( car and braces) while not paying down what I currently own. I also have a hard time contributing to my household while working part-time and getting ahead. But you know what? Your aware of it. And this change is not going to happen in one day, month or year. Keep going girl, your gonna go far!

Sunflowers said...

Thanks!! :) I need some encouragement right now... Not too impressed with myself :\

smallstepsforbigchange said...

Oh wow. I would totally be disheartened if I were you as well. But you will power through, you are owning up to it and that is the first step. You can get back to a zero balance, I KNOW IT! =D

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