Debt... Evolved

I really wasn't sure what to call this post. Debt transformed? I thought about "Debt, no more!" but that's not accurate (I wish!).

It's really a wonderful thing, but makes me feel a bit queasy at the same time. I'll try to explain...

While we were walking to the grocery store this afternoon, M casually mentioned that he should just pay off my credit card debt and car loan, and then I could just make payments to him. No more interest charges, and a boost in credit score. My immediate reaction was "no, no, no" and we stopped talking about it.

A few hours later, as I was looking at my debt repayment plan, I started thinking how much better I'd feel if the debt was wiped away from the creditors, and the payments were going to M. I did a bit of number crunching, figured out how much I'd save on the interest, and then typed up an e-mail to him with what I'd come up with (while he was in the other room playing games online with his friends).

We talked about the e-mail this evening, discussed the pros and cons, and we ended with him writing me a check - for the entire amount of my consumer debt.

I looked into the legal implications of him giving me the money. He was very "whatever" about the whole thing, but I wanted to give him something in writing. I stated that it was a "demand loan" (he can demand the whole thing at anytime), that I was solvent at the time he made the loan, and that my net investment income is less than $1000 (all true). Hopefully, this will protect him from having to pay any kind of tax. (Please correct me if I'm wrong!)

So, like I said, it's wonderful. He's generous and wonderful. And I feel queasy and a bit like I want to cry. I already owe him (a lot) of money. Yes, we've been together a long time, we live together, we have a joint account. Yes, there is no doubt in my mind that this loan will be paid back within a year. No, he's not going to make me his indentured servant. Yes, this will be somewhat helpful to us both (my credit score will no longer be a hindrance in getting a new apartment). No, this doesn't hurt him financially.

Having said all that, I still feel like... I don't know... a bad person. Wretched. Unequal. I want to be the one writing out the checks, helping him get out of debt. But he has zero debt (and likely never will... other than a mortgage, somewhere down the line), and I'm like a poor, sad sack with debt up to my ears.

I should be happy, and I am happy, in a way, and I'll be happier tomorrow... but right now, I just feel kind of sorry for myself.

Anyway... I'll be depositing the check on Monday. I'm not sure when it'll go through, but whenever it does, I'll be making my payments the same day, and then updating all my sidebars.

Feel free to chime in with your thoughts... if you think the whole thing is a bad idea (legally, for him), I would really appreciate the input.